Enlistment

Enlistment

Fear?
Apprehension?
Excitement?
Dread?
Or simply numb ignorance?

A plethora of biochemicals arrested my heart.
Adrenaline - Alert
My pulse quickens.
And i wonder what is out there for me?

Another part of me screams for control.
Silence.
My blood stills to their usual beat.
I have momental calm.
I'm simply moving into the next phase of my life.
And inevitability in many countries maintaining a civilian army.
It's an eventuality i have to face.

Peace.
Let's juz face the music.
Take on the oncoming thing.
Pray. Hope. Believe in all my being,
That i would not buckle and stand firm.

I'm still malleable.
So...
We'll juz see how things turn out in that fiery furnace.

For now.
Let's face the time in between.
With all the vivacity life can offer.
Before we are enclosed behind a sphere of ultimate order.
Where chaos has no hold and place.
For now.
Let, Fear. Dread. Excitement. Apprehension.
Hold me.
I pray that i would be liberated on.
9th of March 2006.

Graduation.

Graduated.

I can hardly believe.
I can hardly accept.
I can hardly come to terms.
With this brusque end.
Time plays us, controls us.
We are as helpless as an ass being led by the nose.
I never truly reslised to grim horror of passing time.
Unnoticeable, but undeniable.
For each step we take.
No matter how fruitful.
Or however painful.
We are walking towards the end.
This neutrality, impassiveness of Time.
Governs us.

With Time, comes endings.
Resolutions.
Renewals.
Separation.
Yet, no matter how integral, poignant it is to our lives.
It will be my downfall being unable to let go truly.
This period of my life,
I'm put through the mill of life, of trial.
Again.
JC 2 whether crawling or instantaneous.
Has finally finished it's curtain call.
The lights are down.
We are thrust back, rudely into reality.
Instinctively, it set me reflecting into our past.
Reminiscent. Poignant. Exceedingly Nostalgic.
It brings tears to my eyes when i recall...
Our first CT...
Laughing together at Miss Victor...
Having fun during Lit Drama with Cara...
Striving thru PW and Promos...
Endless class parties, outings...
That very special walkathon which bonded us all...
Drama's gift to Nanyang, 'OZ', which I enjoyed immensely putting it up togther with everyone involved...
MY class of 04A2... I think we've come further than friends... We are family both metaphorically and literally =). Our ties are something I would keep close to my heart. A mark, indelible, I've been branded as a part of 04A2, that is something which will last for eternity.
(I'm finding it difficult to properly elucidate my thoughts. I'm juz overwhelmed...)
Us... putting our heads together to battle the Mid-Years and Prelims...
Drama's Farewell...
Everything I've done in conjunction with A2, Drama, TXH or any other NYJCian. It will be etched deeply in my memories, it is a part of me...
I only wish that Time, unfeeling as it is would not enstrange us...
I only wish that A2, will stay strong for the 'A's no matter how battered you are, I'm willing to lend an ear.
I would like to thank A2 for all that they have given me, memories, gifts, notes, and wise (or witty) adages.
Esp during Graduation CT...
I thank Mel for her words that bring me down memory lane.
I thank Sanah for her appreciation of A2.
I thank Mardi for her effort and pictures, it will be my keepsake.

I'll always be part of A2 as it is a part of me.
I dedicate this to all of A2. My deepest gratitude for everything...

P.S. PERSERVERANCE is what YOU need be it for the 'A' Levels or DOTA! *grinz

Blah.

I'm juz so jaded, so jaded...
Time really flies.
I never truly appreciated that phrase till now.
When i'm nearing the end of Year 2.
2 years. So long yet so short.
Short : 2 years of JC life.
Long : 2 years of NS life.
Heh.
There's juz this fornlorn feelin now.
Nearing the end.
Depending on how on looks upon it.
A2 were all strangers from different lands of different cultures.
Odd melting pot really.
Highly reactive.
Like you know K + H2O = Kaboom!
Yea, that's sorta what it is.
Budden, JC life would have been monotonous without these lively sparks of vibrance.
It's saddening, melancholic...
I've always been a maudlin guy.
Not one of my best traits.
Pity we have only now truly begun to gel.
After this 1 year plus.
I am starting to see us as a unity.
It was so cliqued back then.
Why does it have to take so long for our walls to be battered?
Perhaps Jerry is right.
Ppl only form cemented bonds through common hardship.
The hardship of ploughing through our exams together.
Words aren't nearly enough to express my emotions.
(Perhaps i'm too stressed that my vocab's been suppressed or something.)
Hah. I've never taken too well to separation.
Even with Drama...
There had been this sense of loss.
Of returning to normal, individualistic monotony...
And then comes the onset of examination stress.
It juz wears me down.
Destiny knows how to play it's game.
The poignancy appalls me.
We would be parting ways...
Sooner than expected.
Yet, we've only juz begun to appreciate each other.
Destiny makes folly of man.
Ironic how we make acquaintances only to lose them.
Perhaps it's God's way of testing our mettle.
Whatever it is... It juz means we are mere pawns in the Grand Design.
I am not accustomed to such haste.
Yet, such is the workings of this society.
Society is never truly society when everything's based on one's social lives.
Pathetically void and artificial.
I wish we could live in a more humane place.
That would be the most exotic gift today.

Choppy thoughts... No more...

Word Bank

<-Word Bank->

OK. I'm mainly searching for words that would be helpful in Lit. Essays. Mainly a wider range of words to convey ideas. Examiners would prolly get bored of rigid writing.

Poignant
Painfully sharp to the emotions or senses; deeply moving. Arousing sympathy.

Piquant
Agreeably pungent, sharp or appetizing. Quietly stimulating, or disquieting to the mind.

Imbues
Inspire or permeate (with feelings, opinions or qualities)

Immaculate
Pure, spotless, perfectly neat and clean. Perfectly or extremely well executed or articulated.

Juxtapose
Place things side by side. To compare. Juxtaposing ideas.

Innuendo
An allusive or oblique remark or hint, usually disparaging. A remark with a double ending.

Endow
Bequeath.

Melange
A mixture. Medley.

Mellifluous
Pleasing. Musical. Flowing. Adj. (Usually of voice or words)

Mellow
Adj. (Of sound, colour and light) Soft and rich, free from harshness. (Of character) Softened or matured by age or experience. OR Genial, jovial or partially intoxicated.
Sweet. Dulcet. Mellifluous. Euphonious. Amiable.

Euphonious
Sounding pleasant or harmonious.

Dulcet
Sweet and soothing. Adj. (Especially of sound)

Peccadillo
A trifling offence. A venial sin. Minor infraction.

Pulchritude
Literary sense of beauty. Pulchritudinous.

Courtesy of 'Complete WordFinder' A Unique and Powerful Combination of Dictionary and Thesaurus

Bookie.

Word Bank Today.

Ambivalence
Coexistence of opposing feelings in one's mind, esp. love and hate, in a single context. Ideal at describing Othello's dilemma. 'Excellent wretch! When I love thee not. Chaos is come again.'

Sojourn
To visit and reside temporarily, a brief sojourn.

Subversive
A revolutionary. Undermining. Destabilizing. Upheaval. Overthrow. Adj: Insurgent. Saboteur. Dissident.

Hamartia
Tragic flaw, in a hero leading to his downfall. That's bout all i can find.

Egalitarian
Priciple of equal rights and opportunities to all.

Empathy
Power of identifying oneself mentally, hence fully comprehending. Coleridge invites us to empathise with him through his poems. Or so i think.

Corporeal
Bodily. Physical. Material. Distinct from the spiritual.
Ethereal
Light. Airy. Delicate in appearance. Heavenly. Celestial. Immaterial.

Convolute
Intricate and complex. OR Coiled and twisted.

Conundrum
Riddle, often with a pun. Puzzling.

Commiserate
Express or feel pity or sympathy. Commiserate you on your loss.

Caveat
A warning or caution: “A final caveat: Most experts feel that clients get unsatisfactory results when they don't specify clearly what they want”
To qualify with a warning or clarification: The spokesperson caveated the statement with a reminder that certain facts were still unknown.

Extol
Praise. Applaud. Acclaim. Glorify. Honour. Compliment.

Maudlin
Weakly or tearfully sentimental. Mawkish sentiment.

Ostentatious
Showy. Boastful. Braggart. Pretentious. Flamboyant.

Some words of praise to shower upon the authors and poets of old. (Shameless things...) Anyway.

acclaim, accolade, adoration, applause, appreciation, approbation, approval, boost, bravo, celebration, cheer, citation, commendation, compliment, cry, devotion, encomium, esteem, eulogy, exaltation, extolment, flattery, glorification, homage, hymn, laudation, obeisance, ovation, panegyric, plaudit, rave, recognition, recommendation, regard, sycophancy, thanks, tribute, worship.

Okay. That's all for today. Looks rather simple. Drop me a word if you find anything intriguing. Brain-Dead. Out.

Yada

and now... YOUR DAILY LIT TRIVIA!
(God... that sounds spastic, i hope God doesn't strike me down or sumthin)
'Ok... i know i'm freezing. I shan't torment my readers'
That was a horrible beginning.
Anw, lemme give my worthless opinion on a few literary terms.

Catharsis
An emotional release in drama or art. The process of freeing repressed emotion by association with the cause.

Oh btw, more trivia.
Did you know that 'Cathay' is an archaic word in medieval language for 'China'. Like wow... Ok. I was never this lame. I suppose bloggin is intrinsically cathartic.

Bathos
An unintentional lapse in mood from the sublime to the absurd or trivial. A ridiculous feature offsetting an otherwise sublime situation; an anticlimax.

Dummies corner:
Sublime refers to something being most exalted, grand or noble (sublime genius) OR arrogantly unruffled; extreme (sublime ignorance). Feels more like i'm explainin these terms to myself...

Hubris
Arrogant pride. Presumptous. OR Excessive pride leading to defiance (against the gods), leading to nemesis.

Apologies,
Apparently, this dictionary of mine, ironically named 'Complete Wordfinder' is unable to locate the whereabouts of 'Hamartia'. Maybe i should build a word bank here... This blog shall thus be dedicated to the appreciation of language. I find myself engrossed in the dictionary glossing over silly words like um... 'halitosis' essentially 'bad breath' as in halitus breath, if you wanna sound 'cheem' or 'stupid' that is.

Pathos
A quality of speech, writing or events that evokes pity or sadness. Suffering and grief.

Time.
Is a precious commodity. Odd, time can't be commodified. Anw, vocabulary bank sounds interesting. Maybe in my next post. I never figured out what 'Sanguine' meant, hearing it time to time, so here.

Sanguine
Optimistic or confident. OR Bright and ruddy complexions. OR An amorous disposition. Literally, it means blood-red colour as in sanguineous.

I confess i am no clearer than i already was.

Invective
Iago uses invective speech. Speech or writing that denounces, abuses and attacks. Can be directed at a person, an idea, a system or thought. Employing excessive use of negative emotive language. Like: I cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives to be the most pernicious race of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth.

That's mean, interesting to watch the guy's reaction when you say it to him. So, that's all i got for now. Dump me a few interesting words to challenge my wordfinder. Also for building this word bank together.

What went wrong?

Dammit. I need a vent.
Yes. Like Krakatoa.
The hell went wrong while i was away?
Sisters.
Now, the resolution is so small.
Everything became so big.
Nothing i did was able to change it.
What in the world did she do?
I hate this and........
SCREW THOSE FUCKING LEWD POP-UPS MAN!
CANT TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE!
CLEAN UP! damn him...
Hell.
And that idiot of a sis can't even gimme a reason why the screen became liddat.
She said it simply is...
After the previous flops...
I can't believe a single word.

That was for today.
This is for yesterday.

Saturday. The J2 Drama members were cordially invited to a farewell party.
At East Coast Park, Pit. 61.
So i met up with Su Zhen and Jane.
And we proceeded to our destination on 135.
We dropped. Went uderpass. And emerged onto East Coast park.
Perfect. We were on time at 4.
Now, its time for pit hunting.
Where in the world was Pit 61?
So i checked the nearest Pit no.
Horror streaked across my face.
I told the girls,'You dun wanna noe...'
'What?' they said.
And so i said,' Pit 5'.
'WHAT?' they said again.
And i knew this was gonna be a wonderful walk.
Thing is, i never knew how wonderful...
So, we thought.
Let's juz walk.
I mean, can't be that long right? Right...
After half an hour, we were at Pit 20 odd.
And we were gettin restless...
At Pit. 30 odd, i was seriously harbouring thoughts of bike-hijacking.
After 1 hour. We reached a huge depression hollow.
Right. Detour.
Problem is, the pits are not always constant.
It's like a whole buncha pits. Then a stretch of pitless beach.
And we would whine.
And i keep FLIPPIN PINECONES INTO MY FLOPS!
Wasn't really that enjoyable.
After an ardous 1 and a 1/2 hour journey we reached Pit. 61......
And we cursed... Hell yea we did... Or i did =)
Had fun. Frisbee monkey later volleyball monkey.
Sorry about the ppl I injured with the frisbee =P
Been monkey quite a few times.
Couldnt help it.
Was gettin dark, i was grabbing air or shootin trees.
Ate. Posed. Chatted.
I'm like one of the craziest posers around.
I'm not postin pictures.
I'll disgrace myself.
Think Melly is infatuated with Bryan or something.
Keeps goin on how nice he is to send her here... Yadda Yadda.
Ok, sorry abt being a gossip monger.
Thinkin alot of ppl hate me behind my back for that or somethin...
Hope she doesn't read this.
I'll prolly have a disfigured tagboard. Cowers*

What's up?

How long has it been?
I feel numbed.
I suppose it's a natural defensive measure the body undertakes.
Considering the barrage of everything possible on my sensory receptors.
I'm nearly pushed to overload.
I'm on shutdown mode man....
I somehow lack the ability to make myself study.
Then i'll poke at myself, cursin and swearin...
Wow.... One day it'll come as no surprise as i drive myself nuts.
Been feelin totally on edge all e time.
Like some stealthy predator lyin in wait to snap at an instant.
What's up?
I dunno...
Can't answer.
Quotin Sanah:
Yes, I'm a walking schizophrenic.
Burstin at the seams.
That what exam stress does?
God. I hate it.
Life makes you wonder sometimes.
Carefree and easy as i am.
Life never ceases to make a mockery outta me.
It seems to take sadistic pleasure in watching me writhe in agony,
In the deepest pits of my being.
I'm not depressed or anything.
That seems to be the monopoly of girls.
No one guy can breach that.
I juz needed a space and time to let go.
To let go of all i'm clenching onto.
I throw my bafflement aside.
And trust in faith,
That for my existence here,
I hope i'm living for a reason,
No matter how far or unknown it may be,
I choose to believe in a purpose for life,
For that's what fuels me to live in this world.
This deteriorating, degrading, disintegrating world that humans are tearing apart.
Because...
It is the only comfort left available to me.

He prayeth best, who loveth best
All things both great and small;
For the dear God who loveth us,
He made and loveth all.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge, The Rime of the Ancient Mariner.

Been there...

Been some time.
Needed some time for serious mental thrashing.
Glad it's all over and done with.
Then again, life's ever unpredictable and tumultous.
I feel as if i'm on a little sampan in a choppy stormy sea.
Gosh! That kinda sucks. Well, reality often does.
It's like some battle we fight daily...
Endure or drown.

Met with another recent slap in the face.
Which i thought was diabolically designed to do so in our educational lives.
Exams. Mid Years. Yes. BLOODY MURDERERS!
Sorry. Had to get it off.
The whole idea is ridiculous.
Feel as if it's out to test your time management and mental stamina than knowledge.
Of course i didnt fare very well.
Not many did well either.
As they said, it was supposed to be a slegehammer hit-in-the-face.
Or rather wake-up alarm sorta thing.

And the worst thing is.
I'm not sure how i'm gonna face it.

...

Mornin... Well, at least for me...
Juz woke up on a Tuesday mornin.
Tryin to shake off e last vestiges of peaceful slumber.
Sometimes... I really wish i didn't have to do this.
But live on in Slumberland.
A place of my fabrication.
Utter unfettered freedom.
Sadly,
I can only think about how nice it would have been.
I wish that I could somehow escape the reality of life.
The bitter harshness of it all.
The only solace i can find
Is being away from home,
Away from the memmories that chain me down,
Away from the very place that enslaves me,
Home is only truly ever home is when i'm alone.
If I had the power... that is.
To do my will.

It's sad to say it,
I know i shouldn't be,
But I can't help it,
I'm close to breakin point now.
A father whose business crashed many years ago,
Never stood up again.
Never learned.
Never awoke.
Only pride and sloth bars his way to recovery,
To recover from the state of leechin and uselessness.
Obtaining money from us was ever an unasked business.
A mother who laboured hard to shoulder this burden,
Is falling, weakening, losing hold.
Shaken to the core,
Uncountable times by the acts that bewilder her.
That torments her very soul.
A frail spirit in a hardy shell.
She could do nothing but try to shift the burden.

I don't see where i stand in this,
Or so lost that i'm not sure where.
I'm not an emotional dumping pit.
I'm not a black hole for the recesses of your flares.
Neither am i someone strong enough,
To take the onslaught of reality.

We drifted o'er the harbour-bar
And I with sobs did pray -
O let me be awake, my God!
Or let me sleep away.

The Rime of The Ancient Mariner

Feelin down

Feelin down...
Dunno why but down...
It's one of those times when things just dont seem to go your way
Sux one hell of a time
Wish i could juz get out of it soon
Perhaps it's e mid years
With my conscience naggin at me for not muggin
Sometimes i juz can't seem to do it...
Hate this weakness
This awful shambles i'm in
Hope it'll get over
Probably when the mid years end
Then i'll be another episode
Where i face the consequences of my actions.

Been some time...

It's been some time since i last posted.
What can i say?
I'm lazy.
Ha.
Juz finished watchin Inuyasha
Lazin as usual.
Been some rockin time i had lately.
Went to west m'sia recently.
=) Made quite a few frens from A7A =)
The whole trip's been rather fine.
On the whole VERY exhaustin coz we had to travel everywhere by bus daily.
Kota Tinggi to Kuantan then to Trengannu and back.
Caught some great geologic features life-sized.
Nothin's like being there compared to lookin at those puny photos in the geog room.

Exams again...
This is Singapore man...
I shld have gotten used to this shit.
But no, i haven't and i don't think many others have as well.
Always i tell myself i have to mug.
Then i realise i'm juz lyin to myself.
Coz the word 'mug' doesn't exist in MY dictionary.
And i'll be pretty sure NOT to find it in a few of my frens'
Still... it's somethin which we all have to stick thru...

Someone said blogs tell another face of a person.
Albeit the darker side...
(Jerry as Darth Vader "Hokkien") Peh wa ki orh orh yi peng...
Follow me to the dark side...
Blogs do such sometimes...
I guess it's juz life for teens nowadays.
Everything's bout bein 'in'
Being 'social'.
Find it hypocritical sometimes.
But i can't deny i don't do it sometimes..
Tryin to blend in to the crowd.
And quit being an 'oddball'.
Somehow it's hard to be really honest.
Something always has to be hidden.
A deep dark secret that none will ever know.
Livin in such a society for so long.
It's like some rare priviledge to be honest with oneself and others.
Something so freely given simply makes one feel liberated.
I'm glad i have friends in which i can really be honest with.
I treasure that.
It's something not easily found.
And blessed are those who find it.

Till next time...
It has been another rare insight on the tip of the iceberg.
Or another episode of my silly ramblings.
Anyways, live life.
Carpe Diem.

Ow...

Ok... I haven't been here for a long time.
I guess i'm simply lazy.
Yea...
I mean what's new?
I've been so drained lately.
I dunno why.
Lessons in school.
And ya magicking away.
Talking about magic the gathering.
Reminds me of a new set.
Or at least a self constructed set courtesy of Ed, Terry and Me.
This is old news really.
As i said i've been lazy.
The Lovers of Kamigawa and the Creators of a new movie genre 'Porror'
Exclusively mooted for Jerry and YunQi.
Have a laugh.

Man... i sound dead.
Sorry guys, i need time to revive a little.
Well, i juz got back frm CMPB for the med check.
Pretty inane.
The things they make you do.
Of course the dental, blood, urine, optical, X-ray and whatnots are thrown at you.
Jumpin frm room to room faced with zombie-faced persons.
Along with a few who tried to be an ass.
It was freezing in there and i was in Tee and shorts shivering away.
And 1 section required you half naked lyin on a bed with things plugged on you.
I mean how sick is that.
Seems as if my face spells, 'Hi! I'm a lab rat!'
And of course the interview.
Do you smoke, have heart problems, homo tendencies... yadda yadda.
Then you had to answer computers.
One would ask you personal questions.
'Do you think you are being followed?'
'Do you think someone is tryin to harm you'
'Have you ever been raped?'
'Can you read people's minds?'
'Have you ever heard things that people ard you could not hear'
'Have you ever felt that a tv programme was made only for you'
The above are one of the few.
The other would test your IQ.
I tell you i was so shagged after everything i think the results would show i'm an idiot.
Here you had to complete a host of patterns.
Answer simple maths.
Instruction following capability tests.
Complete number patterns.
Argh i can't remember all it was all so draining.
I went home half living.
That's all.

NYEDC

OZ was a real sucess!
I loved the audience esp.
I can't say more.
The whole musical journey left me with such endearing memories.
Memories of cast working hard together.
Putting lines, blocking, dance and singing together.
Memories of the diligent crew even though we didnt see much of each other.
The entire show wouldnt have been possible w/o em.
The cast cannot express their thanks more than they alr can.
Thruout this magical journey that we have all embarked on.
It's heartwarming to see all of us take an earnest walk down the 'yellow brick road'
We all found our friendship, love, commaraderie, team spirit and togtherness.
OZ has really touched us in more ways than one.
Bonded us really.
Esp in the boycotting of Y-u-n-q-i...
Haha.
I really cannot thank the teachers enough for all their support.
Melly, Seah, Tong, Tina especially for her excellent directorship and WoanWen for her brilliant lightings.
Kellet's like just there in name.
3 mths it took us to really put this up.
I guess we built much more than just props and show.
Took us sweat, sacrifice and precious time.
It seemed amazing that we actually did it.
It seemed so surreal and magical.
The musicians too were wonderful, a gift frm e heavens.
Keow Mei Jian for her creative composing and dazzling voice.
Jordan for his impeccable skill on either the keyboard or piano.
Ramu for his impressive array of sounds
Phil for his 'saxy' saxophone solos, you rock man!
This Musical wouldnt have been possible w/o all of you.
Love all of you to bits man!

The audience.
I can't again thank my friends enough for gracing my drama event.
A big 'Thank You' to all of you again.
I wouldnt have been able to do what i did had not been for your support.
I appreciate A2 for comin down.
My heart warmed when i saw you guys.
Really, it bolstered my confidence.
Love u guys too.
I wouldnt have again done it w/o you.
Thanx esp to my buddies, lovers, kings and ladies.
I had the best time of my life up there on stage coz u guys were there.
The euphoric rush was inexplicable.
My performance is my gift to you.
Thanx again for the chocs and flowers esp from. Ian, Char, Mardi and Sanah.
Not forgetting all the other guys for their moral support. Thnx.
I would also like to thank my Cat High friends.
Eugene, Zhi Xian, Jay, Swee Leong and Vincent for turning up.
Our bond of friendship and brotherhood holds still.
Thanx once again.

Finally Oz the Muscial has come to an end.
And i am one who cannot deal with endings very well.
Good things never last. They never do.
Then again, i am glad and proud to say that i was ever part of such a bunch of professional dramtists.
It's really sad to see us leaving drama soon.
Something tugs at my heartstrings...
Soon we will step down...
Soon we will embark on a long battle with the 'A' levels.
Soon we won't see each other for sometime.
Or share that special bond btw us all drama members.
Soon we will walk each our own life journey.
Sadly.
If i really were the Timekeeper.
I would have stopped time and let us all indulge in this...
OZ will hold a very special meaning in my heart and soul.

Things keep falling...

Things simply keep falling lately.
Crashing round about me.
Sometimes much composed as i seem.
It's a stark contrasting world deep within.
I am pushed over the cliff.
Teetering precariously.
Barely grasping for survival.
My mind's off the edge.
I ask myself.
How did i manage to get through all the shit thrown full frontal.
I chucked it aside.
Sometimes i told myself i would plough through.
Reality says, "it went in the trash"
I'm not sure how i handle things.
I'm not sure how ppl see it.
Pushed to overload.
Perhaps i'm escaping.
Perhaps i should stamp my ground.
Firmament.
I need time...
Which is a luxury...

NYEDC ANNUAL DRAMA NIGHT

NYEDC ANNUAL DRAMA NIGHT is here!
Its original!
Music!
Script!
Dance!
It's an event not to be missed!
In YOUR lifetime!
Ok... i'm exaggerating.
Anw, it's still good stuff.
Our very own drama musical is titled 'OZ'
With the central plot in a corporate business scene.
Inspired by the original 'Wizard of Oz'.

Details are as follows:
'OZ' Drama Jazz Musical.
Date: 6 May (Friday, Gala nite with VIPs) 7 May (Saturday)
Time: 7.30 p.m.
Venue: NYJC campus, LT4.
Tickets are priced at $8 FLAT!
Pls do come EARLY to catch the good seats.
Free-seating!
AN EVENT NOT TO BE MISSED!
Presented to you by the NYEDC!!! =)

O.K.

Hm... Thinking...
Day dreaming...
Pondering...
Whatever.

Nothing.
Drama Nite's due in abt 3 weeks.
Everything's been crazy.
As always.
A bunch of us were just cutting up the tix.
Ended up with a sore right shoulder and forefinger.
Paper-cutting will never be the same again.
Right.

It's hard sometimes.
Everyone has their own dark secrets.
Undoubtedly i have mine.
More or less alone in this inner world of mine.
No one has seen.
Others might have.
It is but the tip of the iceberg.
Like everyone else.
I seek to hide my true self.
And exhibit only the desirable.
I wonder how i do it sometimes.
But i guess it's become 2nd nature to me now.
Ironic isn't it?
While our society extols honesty as a virtue.
Everyone technically is a living fallacy.
I suppose everyone's inner demons are screaming for release.
If that's not it.
Then i can be sure mine are.
Perhaps secrets are meant to be kept.
To some degree of secrecy.
It's painful to see someone pour out their sorrows.
Coz you know, painful as these may be.
A darker being lies submerged beneath the depths.
In the deepest dungeons of one's soul.
Caged.
Raging.
Paining.
Crying.
It's always idealistic of humans to try to seek release.
But how many truly acheive solace?
They are just buried.
Hidden but existing.
Waiting to burst forth from their grave another time.
Waiting to be drawn out.
Again.
As happy a world as we try to make ourselves believe in.
There is always a contrast of the 'underworld'.
How hypocritical we are.
Yet.
As the story of 'Pandora's Box' goes.
Perhaps there's a spirit of hope out there still.
Brushing and healing the wounds of many.
Scars remain.
However stay iconic to the lessons learnt.
Resilience of the human condition shows.
Our adaptability & flexibility that bends us to be what we are.
Humans.
Ever sophisticated.
Utopia, in a world like ours will never be met.
But, somehow if we strike a balance.
In confronting our troubles and appreciating happiness.
We would be better people.

"stream of consciousness flows unchanging"

Lit. Jargon.

Pathos. Although any figure of speech may be employed to evoke an emotional response, many figures are specifically designed to do so, or else are themselves functions of the emotional state of the speaker.

Bathos. Anticlimax with humorous effect; spurious pathos; triteness.

Hubris. Overbearing pride or presumption; arrogance: “There is no safety in unlimited technological hubris”

Hamartia. The character flaw or error of a tragic hero that leads to his downfall. Tragic Flaw.

Catharsis. Elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression.

So much for looking up the definitions.
I hardly understand any.
Ew.
What's more the stupid wireless crap's givin me hell.
Dammit.

Tuesday.

Damn i'm on a darn short fuse this April
People better pick their way about me.
There's just SO MUCH to do.
Simply unbelievable.
Unconceivable.
There's like schwork.
Studying (Not that i do)
Scripting to rush out VERY soon
Not to mention rehearsals that end around 8
Shagged.
And my Mom was about to ask me to do housework.
Instead of my sis.
Like what the hell!?
Screw it. Really.
It's a damn piss off day for me.
What's with the lousy D&D table allocation method.
Wonder what they use their brains for those nutters.

What's worse was that all my block test grades were horrible.
Marginal passes.
Even for Lit. Yes.
And I can't stand people who make snide remarks aside.
Burn in lakes of liquid sulfur.
Which didn't exactly serve to improve my mood in ANY way.
For the first time.
I slept thru most of GP.
Which was quite rare.
But I simply couldn't make myself kill braincells mulling over crappy issues
Sleep was helpful.

D&D payment and table booking was an ultimate disaster.
Lets put it as the debate gang.
The class discussed it to be supposedly 2 tables for A2.
And suddenly on monday.
This bombshell was dropped on me.
The debate gang formed their own table of 10 with A1B ppl.
So much for trust and open discussion when you guys do things unopenly.
It was a complete mess up.
The other part of the class couldn't make a proper table.
The other bombshell.
Albeit the larger one was dropped again on me.
The 4 guys made their own table.
We lacked 2 initially.
Tried to find 2 more 'imports'
Then this Jerry.
Didn't know what went on in his twisted head.
Decided to withdraw from the table.
Last minute on monday.
When payment was due tuesday.
HOW AM I EXPECTED TO FIND 3 ppl!?
So much for being friends when you broke your obligation to us so lightly.
I'm sure Terry would agree.
The initial deal was the table with us.
With YOU PS-ing at the last minute to join your soccer table.
Man. Screw his whatever-you-can-think-ofs.
Really now.
The day just wasn't ---- DAMMIT! Got called off to do laundry drying!
ANYWAY.
We were being kind by not blasting you.
Cause I really would.
Not if i wasn't that tired.
Don't overdo it, man.
Esp not bitchin to me about you doing your Lit. presentation.

The day's simply not gettin any better.
Drama was a complete killer.
Esp when it's choral training with Kellet.
Dancin - exhausting.
Don't light that fuse o'mine.
Ever.

Monday Blues...

Monday.
Is not a good day.
Never has been anyway.
So... Got back my Econs block test.
Barely made it with an E.
Not that it was surprising
It's juz depressing.
Sigh. Guess Econs juz doesnt work for me.
GP essay was also dissapointing.
Lit was sadly mediocre.
Oh... what's new?
Other than dreading Geog Paper's return.

Monday has always been a mentally draining day.
Especially when Drama Night's a little more than a month away.
Our dance sequences are not out.
Songs are not proficient.
Costumes not fully procured.
Our script is not even complete.
And that's my responsibility.
Which sux pretty much when school kills pretty much ALL of you creative cells.
And when i start writing?
I get headaches.
Literally banging my head.
On the keyboard.
On the drawer.
On my arms.
And on my writer's block.
OW.
Scriptwriting is hell when:
You don't have enough sleep.
You overexert your brain capacity
You physically exhaust your body so your brain is oxygen deficient.
You encounter a Monday. (Like today.)
You reboot your brain completely, much like a baby's
You are daydreaming.
You cannot concentrate and your thoughts wander off thinking of sinful connotations

In short.
Scriptwriting sux when you attend school.
Therefore.
School is detrimental to brain development.
I think i'm going to be retarded soon.
The fastest case of brain degradation and senility.

Many things i'd like to do but lack the strength to.
Also perhaps the willpower.
Sigh...
Stressful.
Or perhaps i shouldn't say that.
Because none is more QUALIFIED to say that other than BEN CHOONG.
4 As 2 S papers + GP
His highness's exact words.
No thanx for that poke.
For all his supposed intelligence.
He fails to see past the notion of individuality.
Who wants to be like him?
Go on! Lead a mugger's life.
Since brain cells are mere automaic nanobots
Rather than colourful musings and inspirations.
Go on! Lead an academist's life.
Coz books are dead and so are you!
I can't stand these people who impose authority without properly earning it.
Anyway.
Life goes on...
Guess i've no choice but to live it.