When the sky is dark velvet

My mind is pure clarity.
Oh how i laugh...

enfin.

I know not who to go to.
There are no words for this.
I have not felt such pain.
It is the first.
Nor will it be the last
Or the most hurtful.
But it hurts enough.
Hopefully I would pine for you.
No more.
No more.

I wonder how hard hearted can you get...
Wait. You didn't have to be...
For I no longer mean anything...
After all that...
Nothing at all...
No more.
No more.

You And I

2NE1 Lyrics to You and I

No matter what happens
Even when the sky is falling down
I’ll promise you
That I’ll never let you go

Oh~~~Oh~~Oh~~~oh~~Oh~~~oh~~Yeah~~~

You naega sseureojilddae
Jeoldae heundeullimeopsi
Ganghan nunbicheuro
Myeotbeonigo nal ileukyeojweo

And you, na himae gyeoulddae
Seulpeumeul byeolang kkeutkkaji ddo akkimeopsi
Chajawa du son japeun geudaeyegae

[Chorus]

Nan haejoongae eopneundae
Chorahan najiman
Oneul geudae wihae i norae booleoyo
Tonight geudaeye du noonae
Geu miso dwiae nalwihae gamchweowatdeon
Apeumiboyeoyo

You and I together
It just feels so right
Ibyuliran maleulhaedo
Geu nuga mweorahaedo nan geudael jikilgae

You and I together
Nae du soneul nochijima
Annyoungiran maleun haedo
Naegae i saesangeun ojik neo hanagiae

You maneun sarangcheoreom
Oori sarang yeokshi jogeumssik byunhagaetjyo
Hajiman jaebal seulpeo malayo
Oraen chinhan chingu cheoreom
Namaneul mideulsuitgae gidaelsuitgae
I promise you that I’ll be right here, baby

[Chorus]
Nan haejoongae eopneundae
Chorahan najiman
Oneul geudae wihae i norae booleoyo
Tonight geudaeye du noonae
Geu miso dwiae nalwihae gamchweowatdeon
Apeumiboyeoyo

You and I together
Nae du soneul nochijima
Annyoungiran maleun haedo
Naegae i saesangeun ojik neo hanagiae

Waeroun bami chajaolddaen
Na salmyeosi nooneul gamayo
Geudaeye soomgyeoli nal aneulddae
Mueotdo duryeopji anjyo
E saesang geu eoddeon nugudo
Geudaereul daeshin halsueopjyo
You are the only one
And I’ll be there for you, baby

You and I together
It just feels so right
Ibyeoliran maleulhaedo
Geu nuga mweorahaedo nan geudael jikilgae

You and I together
Nae du soneul nochijima
Annyoungiran maleunhaedo
Naegae i saesangeun ojik neo hanagiae

Just you and I
Forever and ever


****Translation****
No matter what happens
Even when the sky is falling down
I’ll promise you
That I’ll never let you go

Oh~~~Oh~~Oh~~~oh~~Oh~~~oh~~Yeah~~~

You, When I fell
you held me back up with an unfaltering gaze

And You, through those sad times
held my hands till the end of the world

[Chorus]
I might be a shabby person who has never done anything for you
But today, I am singing this song just for you
Tonight, within those two eyes and a smile
I can see the pains from protecting me
You and I together. It’s just feels so right
Even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you
You and I together, don’t ever let go of my hands
even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you

Our love has changed a bit by bit just like others
But don’t be sad
Hopefully I will be someone who you can trust like an old friend
and someone you can lean onto
I promise you that I’m be right here baby

[Chorus]
I might be a shabby person who has never done anything for you
But today, I am singing this song just for you
Tonight, within those two eyes
and smile I can see the pains from protecting me
You and I together. It’s just feels so right
Even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you
You and I together, don’t ever let go of my hands
even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you

I close my eyes lightly whenever I feel lonely again
I no longer fear when your breath holds me
No one in the world can replace you
You are the only one in I’ll be there for you baby

You and I together, It’s just feels so right
Even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you
You and I together, don’t ever let go my hands
even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you

Just you and I
Forever and ever..

Awake at this time of the night.

Once more.

I can't put my finger on the Merchant of Venice essay. Got a few points down, just can't seem to string them all together coherently. Just had a tutorial on "Paul's Case" today by Willa Cather. It's about escapism. Running away from the stifling mundane life of the middle class. In our context, the railroad track of life, preset, predestined, unchangeable. Routine. And dear Paul struggles so much. Running away, from life, from us the reader, lastly out onto the tracks of an oncoming train away from the author. He falls back into the grand design of things.

Just hit me that's all.

Very many things have gone wrong. I've become afraid. I seem to be become the thing that I most detest. Again. Always been this way. I just sink away into my own oblivion when the mind-numbing words hit me, they connect, and part of me just fizzles away, all that circuitry fucked.

I want to stop. And take a check. If I can stop my garbled thoughts from going into involuntary flashback mode. It just hits me at the worst times. And they just keep coming back. All those memories. Oh what have I done to make them so? They just haunt me, and haunt me. Where is that little prison that dark memories, secrets and pain goes? Let me in there.

My heart withered on this day.

Death.
Fatality.
The End.

Sledgehammer blows.

I face this unfeeling wall...
I have run out of words for all this.
I try to forget.
I drown myself with work.
In the hopes to numb myself.
It works for awhile...
Where I expend myself feverishly.
I fall back again after
Into an empty cradle.
And all the thoughts of you come
Rushing unbidden.
The sweet memories are bittersweet.
The bad ones are sledgehammer blows
The ugly ones are poignant still...
Have I not reaped enough of what I've sown?
Am I no more than an insignificant speck in your eyes.

I am at wits end.
I feel... I wonder if I feel through all this at all?

All i want this birthday

Is nobody but You.

You.

I freeze and lock up
I often am tongue tied
I can only look on forlornly
I have so much that i want to say
I think of you and what we did
I do that all the time
I cannot forget
I do not want to
I have said many things
I perhaps haven't said what I really felt
I promise you
I do solemnly promise you this
I will never do anything to hurt you again
I will be your protector
I will do all in my power to keep that promise
I will promise you happiness
I will be yours and no other

I have been blind
I wish for but a chance to see clearly again
I have been weak and afraid
I was selfish about myself
I treated you lightly
I never truly thought about how you felt
I only cared for how I felt
I know only now that you gave me more than enough chances
I simply failed to see them
I played hard-to-get to my folly
I must have been so blind
I never really bared my heart to you till recently
I gave to you so little of what you gave me
I wish for but a chance to return your affections

Let me please.
Let me not bleed my heart dry.
Let me not cry into my pillow
Let me once more into your broken heart.
Let me do the mending.
Let me love you.