Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Friends are a divine gift.

Today. Was a heaven sent gift.

One of the few times i truly ever treasured the space of a day. We had a rather empty morning, nothing much other than fatigue work, but when it dawned upon us that our Sgt Jonathan had begged to let us have a nights off today was more than enough to set our spirits alight. More importantly, we will be running together with Tuas Defence Squadron. Guys from the previous Sea Soldier Course - my coursemates. It was a tender and warm reunion, i could not stifle an excited wave at all of em, least to say hasten to see my best buds since i dunno when.

The mood was jovial, it was great to see them again, who knows when would be our next chance... Exchanged many interesting anecdotes and pieces of random gossip, lots of fun and laughter. So many feelings that were felt were almost tangible in the air, it was thick with emotion, something that was expressed with glittering eyes and knowing smiles rather than said with words no matter how beautifully crafted. Words don't really matter when hearts connect.

Ran 5km along the surrounding of the Macritchie Reservoir Park, tagged along with Gabz and Jem and an occasional Sgt Wen Jie hollering in our ears and finally knocked himself on a railing. Me and Gabz were quite proud of ourselves for besting a number of NDU personnel on the run. Heh. Even though their competetive teams still made a rather clean swipe of most of the prizes leaving bits for the rest to pick. All in all a good run. Running with SWO again, reminiscent of our many AGRs. Ah memories.

Prata for dinner. Night Snack (Darrell) was re-christened Snack Monster or Snack Champ or wadever for giving me a food related answer to a lan related question.
We had lan, i owned for 2 games. Lost on my last. Would have prolly won had not been for Joel, damned Bloodseeker and also to a very fat WeeMing (Centaur). Dang. I wanna rematch!

Now... I'm back home missin all of you guys already. See you guys soon. Pray we don't kena extras

Sunday, September 24, 2006

I walk again down my destined path..

It has been a week.
Where i felt so much.
Sorrow for the loss of friends.
Joy for the subtle blessings bestowed upon.
A kind of peace we all share.
A sense of camaraderie invisibly felt and appreciated.

Well... being an OJT ain't as bad as i imagined. Everyone has been helpful in guidin all of us along. Or rather, all of us realise the need to stand together in the face of the EVIL CO. Hah.. Strength in numbers i suppose, everyone has banded together to cover another's asses. Covert ops undercover heh. It's gratifying i suppose, as much as we all do not condone the CO's actions, it sorta brought everyone to stand beneath one banner. I'm sure we all appreciate the little things our superiors do for us, everyone of them except dear CO of course.

The very appointment, invoke his name and a flurry of hushed whispers follow, perhaps he isn't wrong, but he certainly cannot empathise or force us to produce a standard beyond our greatest means.

Forget the depressing stuff. I still miss my dear friends in Tuas from time to time, memories from Panglima blip across my thoughts sometimes, whether it brings a smile to my lips or a tear to my eye i'm still rather mixed. Time here runs by its own rules. I guess i'm simply numbed, time just sorta disappears before my very eyes, I need some revitalising... I'm broken.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

A period on another chapter.

This feels as if i'm writing my life as i live it. And as this day comes to an inevitable end. I'm writing my final conclusions to this chapter, and finally i rest my pen on a full-stop. I recall the past times where i HAD to put my pen down and write a new chapter, part of me refuses to flip that page, so ironically light, it is beyond me to flip it.

And so now, i reminisce my conclusions.

Damn. Why does it have to be so? To make friends and lose them? My spirits dulled significantly nearing the end of course. The fact that we were gonna pass out soon did nothing to lift that dreary mood, that ominous feeling i've been dreading all the time. When it's time for us to move on. When we suddenly notice time is at our asses, sweeping us along...

All that time we've come to appreciate and love of everyone's beloved company, that we've taken for granted, has come back with a vicious vengeance of hurt and separation. Friends that have a place in my heart, and taken to were torn away, by a difference of just 1 offending letter, 'T'DS or 'C'DS. Revolting how such words carry such power.

It felt almost like judgement day when Course Comm was reading the posting order. Finally the verdict announced, and i am given exile.

It is cruel how this world works. Moving along at it's precise and clockwork manner with absolutely no regard for the fragility of human relations. Oh please... Do not lament the increasing lack of warmth in people, or the astounding superficiality some people are capable of now, because we are too shallow in our handling of relations, people are chucked here and there simply because they are needed by the system. Humans are not clockwork robots. We barely even have enough time to live life properly, decently. This is so lamentable...

I swear, i did everything in my power to hold my dams... I was tearing. FUCK this. WHY?