All too soon.

I've lived my life leaving alot of things unsaid.
Which is part of the reason why this blog is up.
A voice of my inner thoughts.
That i do not elucidate.

All too many times i kept quiet when i ought to speak.
And speak only superficially when advice is needed.
Say foolish things when i ought to be silent.

Fiddling around with nothing to do at the wake.
Because of my childishly myopic sister.
And because the day was coming to an end.
People were leaving, few were left.
Not knowing i drifted to my grandma's side.

And i was just thinkin.
All the Christian services goin on for 3 days.
I hadn't really paid much heed.
Nor were there much tears.
I suppose the realisation hasn't really come yet.
Somehow assured by her physical presence in the room.
As if she were here with us.

And i hear the pastor say...
Even though she isn't here with us this day, talking with us, doing with us the things she usually does, we can rest assured she has returned to her heavenly home with God.
And i think...
She's still around isn't she.
She isn't gone.
Funny how we shallow people focus so much on the material.

And i was just looking at her not long ago.
Thinkin...
She's gonna be gone tomorrow.
Cremated to ashes.
And all i have are memories.
Then when she is wrenched away.

...