Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Inside of Me

I don't understand. Life can get so complicated, such a delicate thing to manuvre through. A misstep can mean disaster. My thoughts are going completely wild now. There seems to always be a mountain of things to accomplish, and when it weighs down on me that i may never finish them, the crushing sense of failure is overwhelming. No. I'm not just talkin about worklife, of the limitless workload. But of everything else, friends i have not met in ages, seeking to relive the old days while my schedule is vehemently against it. And i sit helplessly waitin for the memories to go stale. When time has washed away everything, all we will be are mere acquaintances.

Had the feeling of making a to-do list?
-Gonna meet friends from a long time ago
-Find some personal time
-Slow down and find connect with someone
-Follow a fitness regime

Yet that to do list often fades away into nothingness.
Then all i have is a sense of here and now.
Only a sense of presence with no sense of direction.

Desire so strong it consumes me inside out. Because i know ultimately the desires for everything are nothing but empty wants. And i am left a husk.

Overwhelmed by a society so fake i just wanna hide away and find some truth.
Maternal love that could stifle and suffocate me, yes i want to hide away.
Yet so alone in this abyss, i want some company.
A living dichotomy.
Would you listen? Open your heart to listen?

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