Seems like this week in camp has many interesting anecdotes to document. Partly also because i'm tryin to keep myself awake in the midst of a dreary lecture by an old warrant officer.
Wee Calixtus Ashley aka Cactus.
Weird. Not that i had anything against his name, but such a flamboyant name is destined to attract attention. He is one MAJOR oddball who questions everything commanders say. Defies general orders, does the silliest things to get 8 confinements and counting... Posseses an eternal Mona Lisa smile on his face, sometimes he laughs heartily to nothing at all when he is alone on the corridor - Enigmatic in a sense because no one can fathom why. Question: What IS so funny?
Okay, before i fall into a permanent cryogenic slumber. I try to dredge up more lame antic by our IC of the week. All hail - Yong Chen.
Please pardon my candidness. Just last week, whilst swimming in the pool, he was spitting water like a pig faced Merlion while holding to his slack-floats after the swim cat test. I can only implore you to imagine the utter idiocy of the situation. My words are only limited an extent. Of course, as an IC he never fails to wayang, although in the most unconvincing manner.
'Eh! Guys! Do your drills properly' The next line killed it.
'Eh! Image arh! Image! Navy BMT coming' ...
Nevertheless, his responsibility as an IC is laudable, although his image doesn't really accentuate the fact.
3SG Tan:'... Illume grenades has a brightness equivalent to 90,000 candles'
Yong Chen:' Sergeant... What type of candles is it?'
He never fails to 'amaze'.
After the morning standby...
Yong Chen: 'Thunderstorm... After i fall you all out. Fall down immediately downstairs'
How is his brain wired? Neurologists might classify it under 'slug matter'.
Now, i'm lookin at my platoon mates falling like flies on their seats. The Z-monster comes with a reaper's scythe today.
Of course, how could i forget?
Pang Si Cher.
Codenamed: Chicken Little.
Mai Ah Hee... Mai Ah Hoo...
Oops... Sorry...
Why? Because he looks exactly like an overstretched version of our lil chick. Tall and lanky, not to mention a block like head mounted atop. Yes, please note the pun. He is excused: PT. IPPT. Swimming. Firearms handling.
You name it, he's got it.
Why? He CLAIMS he hears voices in his head tellin him to do stuff that's dangerous, no doubt it's a stupid voice. Maybe I can't blame him for having a hollow head, maybe echoes get distorted inside or something. Just yesterday, he visited the MO. After a brief sojourn, all his statuses were extended by 10 days. That status slip would have dominated the NSF black market for the hottest buys.
Quoting my PS:' What is wrong with the world, Mama?'
Yeah, i had to agree.
Gimme a min to replenish my brain fluids. It's quite taxing mind you.
Next up we have Gabrielle.
No, not Eva Longoria's Gabrielle Solise, although quite a formidable bitch in herself.
We have Gabrielle Selva Retnam.
Applause please.
I've met my match.
She OUTbitches me anytime. Sarcasm bounces off her like a sticks would off hippo hide. The DIVA of the lot. An absolute metro. Ever prim and prissy about appearance and fantasizing about high-end fashion labels. I feel as if i'm living next to a mini Paragon retail chain. Everything to her is either Prada or Gucci or Versace or maybe it's Maybelline.
If i had a camera i would have put a picture of her posing like an absolute bimbo.
That's all too bad, not as if she needed the extra advertisement anyway.
P.S. You owe me for your airtime here, i charge primetime rates.
8 years ago
1 comment:
I am not sure who you are, but I must explain why I did what I did back then. Something happened before I entered NS, something rather complicated, but simply put, I did something against my higher nature, which caused my energy channels to become closed and stuck. The proper word to refer to it is Chakras. Now, you will not naturally know this, because that presense or sense of self within feels the way it does, that to a normal person, it appears strange, the idea even, when others who have them closed, the Chakras, behave in a way that is not in line with who they really are. You will find it strange that it works that way, but it is the truth. In fact, the "health" of the Chakras determines and governs the health of the individual, and blockages manifest as either illness or presumably flaws in the character.
So, at that point in my life, I couldn't think properly, and I should mention that I did a meditation twice at night, back in my J2 year. My entire personality was effectively sealed, after that fateful point, and I was no longer myself, a personality I have known intimately for the many years of my youth. That's basically it, and I have to admit, I did a lot of regretful things, that unfortunately, if they had been avoided, I might be better off now. So fragile it is, to have fucked your ownself over, just for one seemingly innocuous, but in reality, rather fatal, mistake.
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