Let it flow.

Here I am, sitting outside the hotel across the road. I am baffled. As I always am. I'd like to think I'm too sophisticated for my own good. In plain english, I lack cow sense. Perhaps I am spastic. I don't even know why I am writing this. Maybe it's because I've got time to kill. Or maybe I was tryin to reestablish this quashed and subservient dumb asshole, to normal person with a tinge of self esteem. I feel detached from reality. I've always forgotten and chucked aside, pity that does not work for everything. Much to my distaste. It needs some good getting used to. Perhaps all I have to do is to to accepting reality objectively and try to shield myself from the brunt of it all. I hate me being myself. I'm a conceited bastard, acting what I'm not. It's a dark soul living in 2 worlds split asunder. I'm raving. Every single step is agony. Both ways.