When you left me.

You said you didn't have the time
I said OK
You said the attraction faded
I said OK
And I never said anything anymore.
I lay there in my bed, my phone flung to some corner
I just lay there
With that sick, familiar, wretched feeling in my chest.
Only much much worse than I have ever encountered.

I had always believed that it would get better.
And for awhile it seemed like it did.
Things get better after every let down
But no. This is one too painful.
I'm not sure if I can handle the next.
The better it gets at the beginning just means the harder I fall at the end.
I fell hard. For you. Harder than I ever have for anyone at all.
It makes me wonder, how I can ever love again?
I am not sure if I dare to dabble with people anymore.

Perhaps once again, I should listen to the little voice of truth inside
Despite me not wanting to believe it each and every time.
All those happy memories that you have left me
Something heavy stirs in my heart each time I recall.
The little quirks you have, I remember with a little tinge of melancholy.
Must you haunt me at the edge of my mind like this?
Scars never fade.

I only hope I'd still find someone like you.
One who will keep me.
But I'm not sure when he comes along.
I'll be able to open up as I did with you.

I wish I could cry it all out.
If only I knew where to find the tears.