You can break my heart with a single word.

Neither here nor there.
Nor yes or no.
Okay.

Sow the seeds of fear.

Cyril Wong had said that poets need to be able to delve to the deepest and darkest part of their soul and dare to display it and say this is the depth of my feeling. Those who shun away are mere empty husks who are afraid of feeling.

Indeed, where my heart and voice had failed me
Let my words now speak for me.

I know not why and how this irrational fear grips me again.
It is so primal, so unrelenting as it holds me in its grasp.
This cold hand clutched around my chest. Clenching and clenching.
I cannot... the world collapses around me.
Until all I feel are my flustered heartbeats and that icy ring.

Questions abound, but the answers evade me so.
Now I dare not even mention " "
For fear, that I would fall again into the abyss
Master of me, I once soared with joy, and now I freeze in fear.
No, even that very pronoun conjures madness.

If my words have spoken at all.
Poetry is too obscure and not powerful enough.

When we are so far apart.

My thoughts inevitably stray towards you.
As always without fail, you capture me.
I wonder, as always, when your mind is blank.
Does it ever stray towards me?
Even if it doesn't, do you, like i
Often conjure up silly things we might have done?
I wonder at the times when life gets you down.
Would you look towards me for the hand to lift you up?
Because I have always looked to you as a beacon.
Have you like I, felt alone with all the cold quilts?
Devoid of any warmth.
It's just the thought of not wanting to wake up to his cold reality.
Alone.

Am I a dalliance, merely?
Would you ever feel the depths of my feelings.
I wonder, when I have nothing but you in my mind.
Would I ever have even a little corner in your vast universe.

How much hurt can I take?

I don't want to whine to you.
This is just how I really feel.
For you.
I never knew it hurt so much to give your heart to someone.
But seeing you breaks me.
Part of me goes to 7th heaven with you.
Part of me languishes in pain.

Why does this guilt eat away at me?
For I No- please. No.
I freeze when you talk to me.

Why.

Like ice, I fall and shatter.

Because it hurts so much to be called thus such.

My heart is like a desert.

It is harsh and barren.
With nary a hint of green.

My heart is like a desert.
Where dark night descends
With nary a hint of light.

My heart is like a desert.
Where rough winds rip their talons through
Carving valleys and rivets in my heart.

My heart is like a desert.
Where the scorching heat burns like wildfire.
And the chilling cold clutches with icy fingers.

My heart is like a desert.
It is a frozen one. A tundra.
All stark whiteness and blackness at night.
There is no colour.
When all colour there is
Has been stripped away.

Grant me the mental fortitude to weather this harsh desertscape.
Grant me the strength of will to stand alone and stand strong.
Because to stand without the one person in my heart, requires more than just pillars of strength to hold me from fallin.

The 200th Post.

Steer your ship in clear waters.
Do your navigation.
Stay the course.
And you will reach your destination.

Stay the course.
For I am with you.
In my silence.

You got my respect.
And so much more.

Without You.

I should have known.
I should have known a long time ago.
But I know you.
I think I do.
I hope I do.

Hot and Cold.
Test me no further.

I'll look past that.
I'll wait for the time to come.
When I can wake up next and see your face.
Once more.

With you.

Beside me.
It's almost as if
Nothing can get me down.

Can we just stay like this
For just a little longer?

Because
Waking up to see your face
Was the best thing ever.