Things keep falling...

Things simply keep falling lately.
Crashing round about me.
Sometimes much composed as i seem.
It's a stark contrasting world deep within.
I am pushed over the cliff.
Teetering precariously.
Barely grasping for survival.
My mind's off the edge.
I ask myself.
How did i manage to get through all the shit thrown full frontal.
I chucked it aside.
Sometimes i told myself i would plough through.
Reality says, "it went in the trash"
I'm not sure how i handle things.
I'm not sure how ppl see it.
Pushed to overload.
Perhaps i'm escaping.
Perhaps i should stamp my ground.
Firmament.
I need time...
Which is a luxury...

NYEDC ANNUAL DRAMA NIGHT

NYEDC ANNUAL DRAMA NIGHT is here!
Its original!
Music!
Script!
Dance!
It's an event not to be missed!
In YOUR lifetime!
Ok... i'm exaggerating.
Anw, it's still good stuff.
Our very own drama musical is titled 'OZ'
With the central plot in a corporate business scene.
Inspired by the original 'Wizard of Oz'.

Details are as follows:
'OZ' Drama Jazz Musical.
Date: 6 May (Friday, Gala nite with VIPs) 7 May (Saturday)
Time: 7.30 p.m.
Venue: NYJC campus, LT4.
Tickets are priced at $8 FLAT!
Pls do come EARLY to catch the good seats.
Free-seating!
AN EVENT NOT TO BE MISSED!
Presented to you by the NYEDC!!! =)

O.K.

Hm... Thinking...
Day dreaming...
Pondering...
Whatever.

Nothing.
Drama Nite's due in abt 3 weeks.
Everything's been crazy.
As always.
A bunch of us were just cutting up the tix.
Ended up with a sore right shoulder and forefinger.
Paper-cutting will never be the same again.
Right.

It's hard sometimes.
Everyone has their own dark secrets.
Undoubtedly i have mine.
More or less alone in this inner world of mine.
No one has seen.
Others might have.
It is but the tip of the iceberg.
Like everyone else.
I seek to hide my true self.
And exhibit only the desirable.
I wonder how i do it sometimes.
But i guess it's become 2nd nature to me now.
Ironic isn't it?
While our society extols honesty as a virtue.
Everyone technically is a living fallacy.
I suppose everyone's inner demons are screaming for release.
If that's not it.
Then i can be sure mine are.
Perhaps secrets are meant to be kept.
To some degree of secrecy.
It's painful to see someone pour out their sorrows.
Coz you know, painful as these may be.
A darker being lies submerged beneath the depths.
In the deepest dungeons of one's soul.
Caged.
Raging.
Paining.
Crying.
It's always idealistic of humans to try to seek release.
But how many truly acheive solace?
They are just buried.
Hidden but existing.
Waiting to burst forth from their grave another time.
Waiting to be drawn out.
Again.
As happy a world as we try to make ourselves believe in.
There is always a contrast of the 'underworld'.
How hypocritical we are.
Yet.
As the story of 'Pandora's Box' goes.
Perhaps there's a spirit of hope out there still.
Brushing and healing the wounds of many.
Scars remain.
However stay iconic to the lessons learnt.
Resilience of the human condition shows.
Our adaptability & flexibility that bends us to be what we are.
Humans.
Ever sophisticated.
Utopia, in a world like ours will never be met.
But, somehow if we strike a balance.
In confronting our troubles and appreciating happiness.
We would be better people.

"stream of consciousness flows unchanging"

Lit. Jargon.

Pathos. Although any figure of speech may be employed to evoke an emotional response, many figures are specifically designed to do so, or else are themselves functions of the emotional state of the speaker.

Bathos. Anticlimax with humorous effect; spurious pathos; triteness.

Hubris. Overbearing pride or presumption; arrogance: “There is no safety in unlimited technological hubris”

Hamartia. The character flaw or error of a tragic hero that leads to his downfall. Tragic Flaw.

Catharsis. Elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression.

So much for looking up the definitions.
I hardly understand any.
Ew.
What's more the stupid wireless crap's givin me hell.
Dammit.

Tuesday.

Damn i'm on a darn short fuse this April
People better pick their way about me.
There's just SO MUCH to do.
Simply unbelievable.
Unconceivable.
There's like schwork.
Studying (Not that i do)
Scripting to rush out VERY soon
Not to mention rehearsals that end around 8
Shagged.
And my Mom was about to ask me to do housework.
Instead of my sis.
Like what the hell!?
Screw it. Really.
It's a damn piss off day for me.
What's with the lousy D&D table allocation method.
Wonder what they use their brains for those nutters.

What's worse was that all my block test grades were horrible.
Marginal passes.
Even for Lit. Yes.
And I can't stand people who make snide remarks aside.
Burn in lakes of liquid sulfur.
Which didn't exactly serve to improve my mood in ANY way.
For the first time.
I slept thru most of GP.
Which was quite rare.
But I simply couldn't make myself kill braincells mulling over crappy issues
Sleep was helpful.

D&D payment and table booking was an ultimate disaster.
Lets put it as the debate gang.
The class discussed it to be supposedly 2 tables for A2.
And suddenly on monday.
This bombshell was dropped on me.
The debate gang formed their own table of 10 with A1B ppl.
So much for trust and open discussion when you guys do things unopenly.
It was a complete mess up.
The other part of the class couldn't make a proper table.
The other bombshell.
Albeit the larger one was dropped again on me.
The 4 guys made their own table.
We lacked 2 initially.
Tried to find 2 more 'imports'
Then this Jerry.
Didn't know what went on in his twisted head.
Decided to withdraw from the table.
Last minute on monday.
When payment was due tuesday.
HOW AM I EXPECTED TO FIND 3 ppl!?
So much for being friends when you broke your obligation to us so lightly.
I'm sure Terry would agree.
The initial deal was the table with us.
With YOU PS-ing at the last minute to join your soccer table.
Man. Screw his whatever-you-can-think-ofs.
Really now.
The day just wasn't ---- DAMMIT! Got called off to do laundry drying!
ANYWAY.
We were being kind by not blasting you.
Cause I really would.
Not if i wasn't that tired.
Don't overdo it, man.
Esp not bitchin to me about you doing your Lit. presentation.

The day's simply not gettin any better.
Drama was a complete killer.
Esp when it's choral training with Kellet.
Dancin - exhausting.
Don't light that fuse o'mine.
Ever.

Monday Blues...

Monday.
Is not a good day.
Never has been anyway.
So... Got back my Econs block test.
Barely made it with an E.
Not that it was surprising
It's juz depressing.
Sigh. Guess Econs juz doesnt work for me.
GP essay was also dissapointing.
Lit was sadly mediocre.
Oh... what's new?
Other than dreading Geog Paper's return.

Monday has always been a mentally draining day.
Especially when Drama Night's a little more than a month away.
Our dance sequences are not out.
Songs are not proficient.
Costumes not fully procured.
Our script is not even complete.
And that's my responsibility.
Which sux pretty much when school kills pretty much ALL of you creative cells.
And when i start writing?
I get headaches.
Literally banging my head.
On the keyboard.
On the drawer.
On my arms.
And on my writer's block.
OW.
Scriptwriting is hell when:
You don't have enough sleep.
You overexert your brain capacity
You physically exhaust your body so your brain is oxygen deficient.
You encounter a Monday. (Like today.)
You reboot your brain completely, much like a baby's
You are daydreaming.
You cannot concentrate and your thoughts wander off thinking of sinful connotations

In short.
Scriptwriting sux when you attend school.
Therefore.
School is detrimental to brain development.
I think i'm going to be retarded soon.
The fastest case of brain degradation and senility.

Many things i'd like to do but lack the strength to.
Also perhaps the willpower.
Sigh...
Stressful.
Or perhaps i shouldn't say that.
Because none is more QUALIFIED to say that other than BEN CHOONG.
4 As 2 S papers + GP
His highness's exact words.
No thanx for that poke.
For all his supposed intelligence.
He fails to see past the notion of individuality.
Who wants to be like him?
Go on! Lead a mugger's life.
Since brain cells are mere automaic nanobots
Rather than colourful musings and inspirations.
Go on! Lead an academist's life.
Coz books are dead and so are you!
I can't stand these people who impose authority without properly earning it.
Anyway.
Life goes on...
Guess i've no choice but to live it.