Pardon me, I just got hooked on that song, albeit a little late. One wonders why I'm up at this hour, indeed; I wonder that myself. It has been a ritual to stay up to god forsaken hours for so long I don't remember when I started. But for once, my mind isn't lost in the labyrinths of my essay concepts. Most, if not all assignments have been cleared, CDP 101 Final Presentation concluded on a wonderful note. It was certainly a joy watching each other's meticulously put together production, I can't help but shed a tear. How melodramatic.
But that's just how things are, an entire AY is coming to an end, and for some reason I'm just feeling a tad bit more pensive than usual when my mind goes wandering off to some faraway land. Dead people, that flashback of ghastly make up, I can't help but stifle a giggle. Not that I ever giggled.
I just don't know what to do. Clearly I have a lot to do. Revision to be all completed by friday for the most ultimately intensive examination ever. But I don't know what to do outside of this academic realm. Yes, there is that desire to do something I've always wanted, but here, this world; this society; this place; fosters to such hope. I've always thought myself the conformist, but that changed when I made my decision nearly 2 years ago.
I am being honest with myself. Certain things I want can never be fulfilled, at least not here. It is saddening, it's not like I hate this place, no I love it, it's my home. I'll be a displaced alien anywhere else (ok maybe not). Sometimes I can't help but want to fly, but my wings are clipped.
I can't sleep now. No not so soon. But I know not what to do. What do I make of this mockery of life?
9 years ago
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