Oath of Allegiance

I, having entered the service of the Republic of Singapore under the Enlistment Act, (Cap 93), do solemnly swear, sincerely and truly declare and affirm that I will:

a. bear true faith and allegiance to the Republic of Singapore

b. protect and defend the Republic of Singapore bravely and intelligently, with virtue and honour, not sparing my life blood in so doing;

c. to my last breath be devoted to the people, the country and the Government of the Republic of Singapore;

d. to be loyal to the country and the Government of the Republic of Singapore.

e. be ready at the order of the Government, to rise up to the defence of the Republic of Singapore.

f. be honourable, brave, disciplined and vigilant;

g. obey the laws of the Republic of Singapore and comply with the orders of my commanders; and

h. strictly safeguard and preserve state secrets and official information and never to disclose them.

I'm gonna miss certain things and people.
I'm gonna become a pawn in the Government's hands.
Just do it, i guess.

Out of sight. Out of mind.

Let it go.
Let it pass.
Let it fade.

Pain and disappointment.
No more.
No more.

Feelin down and out.
Let me go.
Let me go.

I dun wanna hear no more.
No more.
No more.

Close myself to heal.
Give me a day or two.
Simply a day or two.

I dun wanna think no more.
Enough is enough.

C'mon. Let's deal with this.

Lets be truthful.
I didn't do as well as expected.
Geog and Lit were disappointing.
Econs was a mild surprise.
Where do i go?
I may enter NUS or NTU arts.
What if i don't.
My mind is a tempest of emotions.
Crushed.
Deluded.
Lost.
Sunk.
Down.
But. Let me put it aside calmly.
And detach myself.
Let me drop that touch of arrogance.
Lest i fall further.
Let me be humble.
And learn.
Let me not be presumptous.
And be blind to things.
Let me face my world of possiblities.
And open doors.

To those who gauranteed themselves a place in a U.
Congrats.
To those whose results fell short of expectation.
Life goes on.
To those who take results to seriously.
Learn to be like Jerry. Really.
Take life a step at a time.
Make it the fullest step, every step.
Don't be sunk by bad things.
But learn to accept them and adapt.
I regret i learned a little too late.
But better late then never.
I should start living in reality.
So should you.
Thanks. Bro.

Love or die.

Have you ever wondered?
Have you ever questioned?
Have you ever given unconditionally?
Have you ever received with joy?
Have you ever taught others something?
Have you ever learnt something truly valuable?
Have you ever cared?
Have you ever loved?
Have you ever lived?

Have you ever felt aimless in this road of life?

Because...
We immerse ourselves in chasing the material.
We swamp ourselves with overwhelming work.
We live as human husks, empty lives.
We constantly seek attention to feel worthy.
We think power can be exchanged for attention.
We think money can be exchanged for care.

Have we lost our way?
Like wayward animals?

Instead of adapting and surviving...
Why do we conform and accomodate...
To what society says.
To what commercials say.
To what celebrities say.
To what the popular say?

Can we ever learn to take to the helm?
Can we ever dictate our lives?
Can we ever live as a person whose life is his own?
Can we ever carve out our own culture and future?
Can we ever rid ourselves to be led blindly?
Can we ever truly learn to be human again?

When we give love.
And when we learn how to die
Only then will we ever learn to live.

Tuesdays with Morrie, 5 people you meet in Heaven - Mitch Albom

It's pretty sad how some things turn out...

Friendships come and go.
In eagerness and in sadness of parting.
Yet some begin in necessity and others end in tempest.
Everyone is a 2 faced demon.
I may be an Angel when you see me.
I may be the Devil right beneath your nose.
Away from your very sight.
Becareful what one reveals.
May Time the eternal arbiter
Heal the deep wounds.
Even though scars remain.
May they be a reminder to maintain the harmony.
That was lost in the conflict.

Let it flow.

Here I am, sitting outside the hotel across the road. I am baffled. As I always am. I'd like to think I'm too sophisticated for my own good. In plain english, I lack cow sense. Perhaps I am spastic. I don't even know why I am writing this. Maybe it's because I've got time to kill. Or maybe I was tryin to reestablish this quashed and subservient dumb asshole, to normal person with a tinge of self esteem. I feel detached from reality. I've always forgotten and chucked aside, pity that does not work for everything. Much to my distaste. It needs some good getting used to. Perhaps all I have to do is to to accepting reality objectively and try to shield myself from the brunt of it all. I hate me being myself. I'm a conceited bastard, acting what I'm not. It's a dark soul living in 2 worlds split asunder. I'm raving. Every single step is agony. Both ways.

Screw wireless... In the ethernet port...

I hate wireless.
Wireless went down when i was free to use it for a week.
Tell me that doesnt suck.
Its throwing tantrums in my face!
And now, after being out for so long.
I'm bombarded with all kinds of things.
Mainly, gettin back with frens online.
After a serious withdrawal syndrome.

Lets not talk about the depressing stuff.
YESTERDAY.
I was made to parade myself as some shameless admirer,
for Pee's b'day girl.
God. it's tormenting.
Read Pee's blog man.
I have no need to disgrace myself further.

Went to MOS after that.
Nice place.
Nice atmosphere.
Nice crowd.
Not to mention nice CARs.
Just that the music's a lil not my type.
It was heavy house.
Heavy trance.
And some really remixed Rnb.

Ok, that was some bits of disjointed frustrations.

Waitering is NOT fun.

Gosh, i felt so idiotic the entire nite.
I was sent in to waiter a full banquet, without training beforehand!
I knew nuts.
Disgraced myself.
Overworked my poor partner.
And i think i was liable for alot of complaints!
I was clumsy.
Slow.
Retarded.
With an abysmal lack of common sense.
Laughed at by the other mean waiters.
Couldn't handle heavy things.
The list goes on for a bad waiter.
Heck, to make things worse.
The manager is just a total (fill in the blanks with all your obscene creativity)

I think i was just totally down on my luck.
Missed the bus home.
After waiting for half an hour.
Walked to town.
Rather ran with a full bladder.
Scrambling for a toilet....
Went to Macs to get water...
And saw the last 162 go by.
Waited like an idiot for niterider.
Until some nice cabby told me theres NO niterider.
Spend 1/3 of my pay on cab fare.
BAD DAY.

At least there were some saving graces.
Met some nice ppl there who were new.
And a nice Indian waitress who helped me ard.
I think that's all i can ask for.
Now, i'm a total wreck.
Like i've been hit by a truck.
God, i feel useless.

Good Ol' Days

Whenever i'm bored.
I start lookin at the calendar.
Moving backwards in time.
Reminiscing the past.
The dates evoke such fond memories.
Bittersweet memories...
Gatherings.
New Year.
Christmas.
Prom.
A Levels.
Mugging together with friends and Haribo.
The times we got to know each other as better friends.
The Drama Night.
All those late night rehearsals.
Not to mention the entire YunQi fiasco.
The lessons we loved, hated, and most of all skipped.

Project Work rubbed the wrong people togther.
Jane and the Kings.
Terry and SuZhen.
Shannon and Jerry.
Pei Yee and Gan.
Come to think of it.
It was nice to note how our differences dissolved.
And we strove together to pull through this ordeal.
In 2004, A2 was a cliqued buncha people.
In 2005, A2 was truly a class.
In 2006, A2 is etched into memories.
We bonded together in our common likes and dislikes.

All the times we shared together as we walk down this memory lane.
Hand in Hand.
It may not have been the most spectacular or exciting of all paths to lead.
But it certainly is the most poignant 2 years, at least for me.
Although i lament our short acquaintance.
I never regret our time together.

The Family Stone is good.
Go for it.

Now, as we move on along the journey of life.
Where Fate (Yes, First Moevere) may take us to diverse places.
All of my friends hold a special place within me.

10 years down the road.
Where would this motley bunch be then?
High fliers?
Executives?
Contented housewives?
Charming bachelors?
Lawyers?
Teachers?
Or down and out?
Only time can tell, and Fate can manipulate.
We'll see in time.

Musical Extravaganza!

It's been a good few days of partyin this holiday season.
Christmas and the New Year.
Clubbing and nights out.
It's been both good and bad.
Havoc is both sense of the word.
It's been a helluva grand finale for a grand year.
And, i thank all my friends for that gift.
It's been a great (and stressful) year i must say.
But it is hardship that moulds the soul.
We've all been through the mill.
And now its time to let our hair down.
For the other guys, dont take it too literally.

Partyin is not the least bit festive without the magical touch of music.
Hah, recently i've begun my love for selected techno.
And some soul.
And other more obscure branches of music.
Techno, partly due to para para.
It ignites the passion for dance.
Invigorating.
Soul is cathartically soothing.
Like Utopia.
Gothic is full of angst.
A perfect stress reliever.

Well. If you guys want any music hosted.
Be sure to send it to me.
I'll have it up in no time.
Finally, well wishes for the whopping new year.
I'm not gonna say "May all your wishes come true"
Cause they almost always never do.
Since you can't bend Fate to your will.
Do the best within your confines.
Strive for all that you desire.
At least you satisfy your own urge.
And not regret.
Life's too wasteful to regret.

Maybe telesurveying and gettin scolded is too much for my brain.
My mind seems caught in a cage.
Apologies for blockiness.
These are the escaping threads of inspiration that light across this blog.

Mothers.

What a way to begin a new year.

Eons have passed

Eons later...

Millenia seems to have passed.
As i whiled away my time.
Disregarding this little cyber alcove of my thoughts.
Already this place is startin to feel rather ancient.
Cyber decay and electronic parasites have made their home.

Hah. Things have settled a little since that frenetic night of frenzy.
About some time to return to reality.
Sadly in this hols, money has become a prime concern.
Particularly due to it being the major holiday season.
There are friendly obligations to fulfil.
Except the means to do so are pretty out of reach.
Presents for a bazillion friends.
That you suddenly wish that you could be some remote hermit for a day.

My days are mundane as far as mundane can get.
Which is a drastic waste of time.
I pray and hope the interviews are successful.
As least an avenue for time spent.
At least its for the good of the economy.....
Okay. That's really lame.
I suppose stayin at home and engaging in mindless cyber slaughter.
Does have a definite effect on accelerating mental atrophy.
Look at where my brains and wits are going.
Oblivion would be an understatement.
Already, i knew this post was decicated to babbling.

While i'm not caught up with choking deadlines in school.
Or participating in mindless ventures.
I suppose there's still that little window of time for some pensiveness.
Perhaps i'm daydreaming.
Somehow it gives my mind a moment's respite with myself.
Which is rarely experienced during the schoolyears.
Yet ponderings allow me to reflect and reminisce.
All the better to treasure the memories.

Humans are the epitome of hubris.
We only learn to treasure that we have lost.
We are short sighted.
We spend time trying to regulate our society.
Yet ironically we fight for free will and freedom of speech.
The governments and the world claim to fight for a better tomorrow.
Yet secretly and discreetly they are exposing loopholes for benefits.
How contrived.

However, our very imperfection is the reason behind our brilliance.
Then again.
Who is to say whether i'm right or wrong.
Who is to make judgement on anything at all?

Ideals are there to inspire not to be goals of acheivement.
As with Utopia.

Whoosh!

Whoosh!

Okay.
It's been a hell of a time.
Prom. Ah.
It was rather interesting to see many schmates dressed up.
When u usually just see most of them in nothing but the brown uniforms.
Hah. At least there are no major fashion faux pas.
Which was rather astonishing.
Food was good. Really.
Though i would have loved to pay that $8 more for a day at Fullerton.
(MJ's prom's at Fullerton. $86)
We all had nice company.
Though the emcee was abit silly.
Cheers to Shannon the Queen.

Hah.
It's been a day of many firsts.
I must say.
Clubbing for instance.
It was... invigorating.
Grants you a different side to everyone.
Enlightening...
Oh well.
Now that is all behind us.
Time to move on.
Now. I need a job to while time away.
Bleah.

What!?

What!?

Part of me can't believe all this is over.
I don't mean only the A Levels
But communal school life.
That is something which we are all leavin behind.
No more will i be studyin in a classroom.
Very much like i used to.
Something which i couldnt care much for.
Dreaded even.
But now, that unending love-hate relationship has ended.
And I am left hanging.
Unsure whether I'm free or just lost...

The classroom...
A place where we hated teachers.
Yet also a place where we all first met.
A place where we did our tiresome work.
Yet also a place where we strived together forging relationships.
Somehow, i can't believe we have just left that all behind.

Free without the trappings of exams.
Lost without the homely feel of school.
A place where we spent our young formative years.
It has left an impression.
A poignant one.
It is a subtle conglomeration of life.
Joys.
Sorrows.
Anger.
Love.
Weariness.
Friendship.
Learning.
Frustrations.
Everything.

Somehow to leave it.
Leaves an emptiness in the depth of my being.
An irreplaceable experience.

Somehow.
I will have to muster my courage to learn the temporal nature of things.
That nothing is ever enduring.
Things are confluxes of change.
Experiences are indelible.
That i will keep.

Denouement or Exhilaration?

Denouement or Exhilaration?

'A' Levels are finally...
Or inevitably over?
That's one of the questions i've been asking.
The stress of the exams are lifted.
Yes. Pressure Release.
At once, everything comes back like a singular stark memory.
As if, all that was before was condensed into one sole...
Moment.
I was reeling.
I wasn't sure what i wanted.
To enjoy what was sought for...
Or to keep myself in that sweet naivete?

Does it matter?
Reality and Time moves independently.
Regardless of our wills.

What can i do?
Wait for the inevitable.
Somehow, i wish that Time would remain in stasis.

*Okay, my thoughts are interrupted by my Mum ranting away at my sis for washing the toilet badly. Damn all that screaming and shouting. Can't write. I'll be back when things have settled. Can't help lazy people. Hopefully she survives. Ciao*

Enlistment

Enlistment

Fear?
Apprehension?
Excitement?
Dread?
Or simply numb ignorance?

A plethora of biochemicals arrested my heart.
Adrenaline - Alert
My pulse quickens.
And i wonder what is out there for me?

Another part of me screams for control.
Silence.
My blood stills to their usual beat.
I have momental calm.
I'm simply moving into the next phase of my life.
And inevitability in many countries maintaining a civilian army.
It's an eventuality i have to face.

Peace.
Let's juz face the music.
Take on the oncoming thing.
Pray. Hope. Believe in all my being,
That i would not buckle and stand firm.

I'm still malleable.
So...
We'll juz see how things turn out in that fiery furnace.

For now.
Let's face the time in between.
With all the vivacity life can offer.
Before we are enclosed behind a sphere of ultimate order.
Where chaos has no hold and place.
For now.
Let, Fear. Dread. Excitement. Apprehension.
Hold me.
I pray that i would be liberated on.
9th of March 2006.

Graduation.

Graduated.

I can hardly believe.
I can hardly accept.
I can hardly come to terms.
With this brusque end.
Time plays us, controls us.
We are as helpless as an ass being led by the nose.
I never truly reslised to grim horror of passing time.
Unnoticeable, but undeniable.
For each step we take.
No matter how fruitful.
Or however painful.
We are walking towards the end.
This neutrality, impassiveness of Time.
Governs us.

With Time, comes endings.
Resolutions.
Renewals.
Separation.
Yet, no matter how integral, poignant it is to our lives.
It will be my downfall being unable to let go truly.
This period of my life,
I'm put through the mill of life, of trial.
Again.
JC 2 whether crawling or instantaneous.
Has finally finished it's curtain call.
The lights are down.
We are thrust back, rudely into reality.
Instinctively, it set me reflecting into our past.
Reminiscent. Poignant. Exceedingly Nostalgic.
It brings tears to my eyes when i recall...
Our first CT...
Laughing together at Miss Victor...
Having fun during Lit Drama with Cara...
Striving thru PW and Promos...
Endless class parties, outings...
That very special walkathon which bonded us all...
Drama's gift to Nanyang, 'OZ', which I enjoyed immensely putting it up togther with everyone involved...
MY class of 04A2... I think we've come further than friends... We are family both metaphorically and literally =). Our ties are something I would keep close to my heart. A mark, indelible, I've been branded as a part of 04A2, that is something which will last for eternity.
(I'm finding it difficult to properly elucidate my thoughts. I'm juz overwhelmed...)
Us... putting our heads together to battle the Mid-Years and Prelims...
Drama's Farewell...
Everything I've done in conjunction with A2, Drama, TXH or any other NYJCian. It will be etched deeply in my memories, it is a part of me...
I only wish that Time, unfeeling as it is would not enstrange us...
I only wish that A2, will stay strong for the 'A's no matter how battered you are, I'm willing to lend an ear.
I would like to thank A2 for all that they have given me, memories, gifts, notes, and wise (or witty) adages.
Esp during Graduation CT...
I thank Mel for her words that bring me down memory lane.
I thank Sanah for her appreciation of A2.
I thank Mardi for her effort and pictures, it will be my keepsake.

I'll always be part of A2 as it is a part of me.
I dedicate this to all of A2. My deepest gratitude for everything...

P.S. PERSERVERANCE is what YOU need be it for the 'A' Levels or DOTA! *grinz

Blah.

I'm juz so jaded, so jaded...
Time really flies.
I never truly appreciated that phrase till now.
When i'm nearing the end of Year 2.
2 years. So long yet so short.
Short : 2 years of JC life.
Long : 2 years of NS life.
Heh.
There's juz this fornlorn feelin now.
Nearing the end.
Depending on how on looks upon it.
A2 were all strangers from different lands of different cultures.
Odd melting pot really.
Highly reactive.
Like you know K + H2O = Kaboom!
Yea, that's sorta what it is.
Budden, JC life would have been monotonous without these lively sparks of vibrance.
It's saddening, melancholic...
I've always been a maudlin guy.
Not one of my best traits.
Pity we have only now truly begun to gel.
After this 1 year plus.
I am starting to see us as a unity.
It was so cliqued back then.
Why does it have to take so long for our walls to be battered?
Perhaps Jerry is right.
Ppl only form cemented bonds through common hardship.
The hardship of ploughing through our exams together.
Words aren't nearly enough to express my emotions.
(Perhaps i'm too stressed that my vocab's been suppressed or something.)
Hah. I've never taken too well to separation.
Even with Drama...
There had been this sense of loss.
Of returning to normal, individualistic monotony...
And then comes the onset of examination stress.
It juz wears me down.
Destiny knows how to play it's game.
The poignancy appalls me.
We would be parting ways...
Sooner than expected.
Yet, we've only juz begun to appreciate each other.
Destiny makes folly of man.
Ironic how we make acquaintances only to lose them.
Perhaps it's God's way of testing our mettle.
Whatever it is... It juz means we are mere pawns in the Grand Design.
I am not accustomed to such haste.
Yet, such is the workings of this society.
Society is never truly society when everything's based on one's social lives.
Pathetically void and artificial.
I wish we could live in a more humane place.
That would be the most exotic gift today.

Choppy thoughts... No more...

Word Bank

<-Word Bank->

OK. I'm mainly searching for words that would be helpful in Lit. Essays. Mainly a wider range of words to convey ideas. Examiners would prolly get bored of rigid writing.

Poignant
Painfully sharp to the emotions or senses; deeply moving. Arousing sympathy.

Piquant
Agreeably pungent, sharp or appetizing. Quietly stimulating, or disquieting to the mind.

Imbues
Inspire or permeate (with feelings, opinions or qualities)

Immaculate
Pure, spotless, perfectly neat and clean. Perfectly or extremely well executed or articulated.

Juxtapose
Place things side by side. To compare. Juxtaposing ideas.

Innuendo
An allusive or oblique remark or hint, usually disparaging. A remark with a double ending.

Endow
Bequeath.

Melange
A mixture. Medley.

Mellifluous
Pleasing. Musical. Flowing. Adj. (Usually of voice or words)

Mellow
Adj. (Of sound, colour and light) Soft and rich, free from harshness. (Of character) Softened or matured by age or experience. OR Genial, jovial or partially intoxicated.
Sweet. Dulcet. Mellifluous. Euphonious. Amiable.

Euphonious
Sounding pleasant or harmonious.

Dulcet
Sweet and soothing. Adj. (Especially of sound)

Peccadillo
A trifling offence. A venial sin. Minor infraction.

Pulchritude
Literary sense of beauty. Pulchritudinous.

Courtesy of 'Complete WordFinder' A Unique and Powerful Combination of Dictionary and Thesaurus

Bookie.

Word Bank Today.

Ambivalence
Coexistence of opposing feelings in one's mind, esp. love and hate, in a single context. Ideal at describing Othello's dilemma. 'Excellent wretch! When I love thee not. Chaos is come again.'

Sojourn
To visit and reside temporarily, a brief sojourn.

Subversive
A revolutionary. Undermining. Destabilizing. Upheaval. Overthrow. Adj: Insurgent. Saboteur. Dissident.

Hamartia
Tragic flaw, in a hero leading to his downfall. That's bout all i can find.

Egalitarian
Priciple of equal rights and opportunities to all.

Empathy
Power of identifying oneself mentally, hence fully comprehending. Coleridge invites us to empathise with him through his poems. Or so i think.

Corporeal
Bodily. Physical. Material. Distinct from the spiritual.
Ethereal
Light. Airy. Delicate in appearance. Heavenly. Celestial. Immaterial.

Convolute
Intricate and complex. OR Coiled and twisted.

Conundrum
Riddle, often with a pun. Puzzling.

Commiserate
Express or feel pity or sympathy. Commiserate you on your loss.

Caveat
A warning or caution: “A final caveat: Most experts feel that clients get unsatisfactory results when they don't specify clearly what they want”
To qualify with a warning or clarification: The spokesperson caveated the statement with a reminder that certain facts were still unknown.

Extol
Praise. Applaud. Acclaim. Glorify. Honour. Compliment.

Maudlin
Weakly or tearfully sentimental. Mawkish sentiment.

Ostentatious
Showy. Boastful. Braggart. Pretentious. Flamboyant.

Some words of praise to shower upon the authors and poets of old. (Shameless things...) Anyway.

acclaim, accolade, adoration, applause, appreciation, approbation, approval, boost, bravo, celebration, cheer, citation, commendation, compliment, cry, devotion, encomium, esteem, eulogy, exaltation, extolment, flattery, glorification, homage, hymn, laudation, obeisance, ovation, panegyric, plaudit, rave, recognition, recommendation, regard, sycophancy, thanks, tribute, worship.

Okay. That's all for today. Looks rather simple. Drop me a word if you find anything intriguing. Brain-Dead. Out.